The Inauguration Address on YouTube, in case you didn’t get to watch it live.

1: I don’t want a momma’s boy. The idea of a grown man who’s still wrapped around his mommy’s little finger is wholly unappealing (and frightening) to me. I am a very strong-minded, progressive and independent woman. I’m not fond of following tradition for tradition’s sake. My beliefs about how children should be raised conflict with beliefs of almost everyone I know. In my experience, mothers tend to be put off by this. They don’t like the idea of their little boy leaving the nest, and replacing Mother Dearest with some outspoken, pro-sex, pro-experimentation, unconventional woman. I’m uncomfortable with the possibility that when my partner and I argue, the mother (or possibly the father) will simply take his side, without listening to mine. When I know I’m right, I KNOW I’m right. I don’t want to waste time trying to convince Mommy.

2: I don’t want someone who acts like my parent, and feels the need to “teach me lessons.” First of all, paternalism really pisses me off. When people act like I’m not capable of making my own decisions, I don’t take it well. Sometimes I may mess up, but I’m human, I’m permitted. I may deal with conflict in ways you deem “immature”, but that does NOT give you the right to yell at me and humiliate me in front of other people. Or in private. You are not my parent–you’re my boyfriend. If you’re so bothered by the way I deal with conflict that you have to yell at me in public, then you probably shouldn’t be dating me in the first place.

3: I don’t want someone who’s incapable of apologizing. Even when it wasn’t on purpose. When I accidentally do/say something that hurts one of my friends’ feelings, I will say “I’m sorry,” even though it wasn’t intentional. Why? Because I AM sorry. I’m sorry that they experienced negative feelings that I (inadvertently) caused. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t understand that.

4: I don’t want someone who jokes about infidelity, as if it’s a laughing matter. To an extent, I believe that deep down inside every joke, there’s a kernel of truth. It irks me when guys say things like, “So how many numbers did you get?” when I get back from a night out with my friends, as if I’m that low of a person. It may be a “harmless joke” to you, but I see it as a reflection of insecurity. And if you don’t feel secure enough with me to (A) ask me if I’m cheating, or (B) talk to me about what “qualifies” as cheating, then why the hell are you dating me? And if after I tell you to knock off the jokes, because they have a seriously negative effect on me, then for the love of God, please knock it off! I don’t find infidelity funny.

5: I don’t want someone who doesn’t like my friends. Out of most of the people I know, I have one of the most varied social circles, so the “I don’t like them” excuse doesn’t really hold. Unless you are TRYING to avoid friendship, I guarantee you will find somebody that you click with. I wouldn’t be upset if my partner made a valiant effort to get to know my friends and spend time with them, but didn’t really click with them for some reason. But at least show me respect by respecting my choice of friends.

6: I don’t want someone who feels the need to argue with every little thing I say. When I’m out of class, I really don’t want to argue, especially about petty shit. I start feeling like I need to bring PubMed or Ebsco articles each time we hang out, that way I can justify the way I feel or think. Which isn’t fair at all. I can’t deal with argumentative people anymore.

7: I don’t want someone who doesn’t like cats. Enough said.

8: I don’t want someone who uses hunger as an excuse to be cranky. It’s not fair to everyone else around you–other people who just may be hungry too, but are still able to treat their friends civilly.

The way I’ve had it explained to me, colleges are practically forced to kick out suicidal students, because they could receive lawsuits if that student actually commits suicide.  Also, colleges are worried about “looking bad” when a student goes through with their suicidal plans.  And we all know what happens when colleges look bad–less funding, and less donantions from alumni. 

I’m not stupid.  I know that colleges need money.  They need a good reputation to attract more students.  Instances of suicide also have a negative effect on current students.  But when people are forcibly removed from the only place they’ve ever felt truly happy in, the place where their best friends are, the place where their job and life is, it just seems wrong to me.  It’s not like she was a danger to others, or even a danger to herself.  She was responsible enough to be around people at all times, in case she were to do something.  She was getting professional help, too. 

Anybody who knows ANYTHING about depression should know that big life changes aren’t good for a suicidal person.  So thanks to the college, she has to worry about health insurance (now that she’s not a fulltime student, she has none), finding a place to life, leaving her best friends, paying for prescriptions, paying bills…all on top of her mental health.  Life isn’t fair.

We go to painstaking efforts to meet the beauty standards of others, as part of a misguided attempt to finally gain the respect and friendship of people who have never given us the time of day.  We spend hours in the bathroom putting weird goopy stuff in our hair just so we can present ourselves as the kind of person we used to want to be: trendy, ultra-thin, glamorous, trivial.  We knock down shot after shot of Jack Daniels in hopes that it will give us the courage to strike up conversation interesting enough to not be passed over…again.

Perhaps it would be one thing if all these painstaking efforts were done in the name of friendship.  I could understand why someone might choose to look glamorous and sexy if they were going out with a group of friends or something.  But it was when I was sitting at the table with my childhood friends, being completely ignored, that something else dawned on me.

I didn’t want their friendship anymore.  Not if I felt like I had to practically torture myself by doubling up on girdles, worrying about whether my dress was sexy as everyone else’s, and going through the emotional agony of feeling like if I didn’t do these things, then I wouldn’t be worthy of their “esteemed” company.  I’m no longer interested in chasing friendship that doesn’t want to be caught.  I’ve grown out of the middle school/high school snooty exclusivism.  I’m done putting myself in a position where I’m rejected by people I don’t particularly care about anymore. 
I have plenty of close friends at Cornell–people who actually want to spend time with me, no matter what I look like, no matter what my reputation is, no matter what I weigh, no matter how many slightly awkward moments in conversation there may be. 

For me, friendship is about choice, among other things.  You shouldn’t feel like you absolutely must look or act a certain way for your “friends” to accept you.  Sure, sometimes I like to dress up to go out with the girls, but that is a choice only I can make.  My friends don’t treat me any differently if I choose to hang out with them wearing an old stained hoodie and jeans.  A friend respects the choices I make, whether it be choices in fashion, appearance, reputation, relationships, sex, and morality.  And a friend cares enough to question me when I stray from my identity.

So what is the relationship between friendship and beauty? Has anyone else noticed how beauty is absolutely relative? Like, when you meet an average looking person and get to know them and love them, it’s completely impossible to see them as anything other than stunningly gorgeous? And when you meet someone who looks like they stepped right out of Playboy and they turn out to be horribly fake and stuck-up, their good looks quickly deteriorate?

I’ve learned that the sexiest people are always the kindest, most loyal, most fun, most honest people.
Friendship makes you pretty.

 Nintendo DS has a number of “virtual” games out.  One is called “Cooking Mama” in which “Mama” (the person playing the game) virtually chops, fries, slices, cuts meat, flips, cooks, and arranges food on plates.  Cooking Mama has recently started advertising an all new version of the game–”Cooking Mama World Kitchen”–with recipes from all arond the world.  The commercial actually includes the disclaimer: “Cooking Mama isn’t intended to replace your real mama.  She just cooks better.”  Real sensitive.  And if the whole virtual reality thing isn’t weird enough, the game gets creepy too.  If at any stage of meal preparation ”Mama” messes up, Satanic-looking “Mama” with flames in her eyes pops up on the screen, which says “Don’t worry, Mama will fix it!”

Another virtual Nintendo DS game, this one called “My Baby”, lets players put to bed, nurture, tickle, feed, change, and control the dreams of a simulated baby.  Throughout the game, the baby grows (both in size and in intellect), and a doctor periodically stops by to quiz you on the rules about keeping babies, well….not dead.  Oh, but the coolest thing is that you can control your simulated baby’s dreams.  You can also put up virtual “Big Brother is Watching You” posters, and virtually remove the word “I” from the simulated world.  Well….I’m actually kidding about that last part.

In case whiny little brats aren’t your thing, Nintendo DS also has virtual reality games for those of us who would like to live vicariously through whiny older brats.  In “Imagine Movie Star” you are Hollywood’s next “It” girl.  Go to parties and nightclubs you’d never be invited to in the real world.  Wear the latest trends.  Go to auditions.  Make friends–with other pixelated celebs, that is.  And most of all, forget the fact that nobody showed up to your birthday party, and the fact that you were egged at the school dance.   

Wow.  So I just noticed that each little segment got more and more cynical.  I’ve been watching the House marathon on USA; I can’t help but taking on his tone.

My only question is: What if asymmetrical faces don’t bother you in the slightest? Even more, what if asymmetry is your thing? I mean, everybody has their little fetishes. Some people are turned on by being jumped on by enormously obese women, being peed on, and eating poop (ever seen 2 Girls 1 Cup??). After thinking about these fetishes, a slightly crooked face isn’t all that unappealing. Owen Wilson, anyone?

This brings me to my final point of why some highly attractive individuals seek out partners who are considered highly unattractive by societal standards. Personally, I prefer to be with someone who’s just as attractive as I am. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who was way hotter than me, because I’d constantly feel not good enough, or that I needed to watch out for other women (or men) from snatching him. And I wouldn’t want to be with someone that I found physically unattractive, because I think that healthy relationships require emotional AND physical attractions.

I guess some women are different, though. One woman says,

“I can’t imagine anything more boring than classic handsome looks. I prefer no teeth, baldness and piercings to model looks. I like celebs such as Adrien Brody and Mackenzie Crook rather than Brad Pitt. Ugly men try harder. They care more about you and treat you like a princess. Good-looking guys are self-obsessed. That’s not attractive.”

Check out http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1837729/posts for the rest of the story.
My question, however, is this healthy? Dating a guy that you find ugly, just because he’ll be grateful to be touched by a woman, so he’ll worship the ground you walk on?

Maybe this is what your family’s Christmas is like, but not everybody’s return home for the holidays is quite this picturesque!

I’m a full-time college student, so I’m away from “home” for most of the year.  During the school year, I live in a suite-style dorm (kind of like a 4-person apartment) with 2 of my friends and one other person.  Several of my other close friends live in the same building as me; we eat dinner together, go out together, stay in together, walk together, shop together, etc.  I tell them things that I wouldn’t dream of sharing with my parents. Needless to say, my college friends have “replaced” my family.

Coming back “home” for breaks is always an interesting ordeal.  My mom has completely gutted my room, rearranged my furniture, took down my white lace curtains and replaced them with old-lady rose print ones.  Don’t get me wrong–I’m not complaining.  It’s a nice house, but just not mine anymore. I almost feel like I’m renting a room from them. All my clothes are at school, so I have to bring a suitcase full of clothes, hair stuff, makeup, and toiletries home with me. The fridge is only stocked with health food, so anything I want I have to pick up on the way home. It’s just an surreal combination: being in a spacially familiar place, but in an unfamiliar situation.

So, does anyone else have a “coming home” story? What’s it like staying in your old bedroom (or possibly the guest room) when you come back from school for the holidays? Did you feel out of place? Or was it not a big deal at all? I’d love to hear what you have to say.

I’ve had several of these in the past, but none seem to make it past the 6 month mark.  I think one problem was the lack of interesting topics.  Most of my posts were like diary entries–what I did that day, what I ate, what I wore, who I hate, who pissed me off–in other words, stuff nobody really cares about but me and a few other people.  In turn, I didn’t really get much traffic, which led to a lack of motivation.  After a while it becomes pointless to share your thoughts and opinions with, well, nobody. 

So here’s my promise to you: I promise you relevant, thought-provoking, humorous, and unique posts, under the condition that you will read my posts, think about them, and comment.  And if you think of a topic you’d like me to blog about, suggest it to me, and I’ll consider it.  Deal?
(PS–I can’t guarantee that you won’t find some personal stuff: rants, lists of people I’d like to sucker punch, important stuff going on in my life.  I can’t help it–I’m juicy news lol!)

So with these changes, I think I have the makings of a successful blog.  Let’s do this thing!